I’m not gonna play nice anymore. Dogs that bark when you’re walking by their fence need to GET THE FUCK OVER THEMSELVES!!!
I’m going to give these dogs the benefit of the doubt and assume that they’re not that stupid. I love dogs in general, partly because I think they’re pretty perceptive. So you’d think these dogs would have gotten the hint by now that this is just the way things work around here. All dogs go on walks. Sometimes you’re walking by our fence, sometimes we’re gonna be walking by your fence. It’s just simple physics.
Obviously when I am walking by a fence, I don’t give a shit about your fence. The same goes doubly so for my dog. So I seriously wish these dogs would drop their machismo bullshit and chill out and go do something more productive and less obnoxious with their time, like… daydream about chasing squirrels and eat a bone. No one cares about your property, at all. You live in a super janky yard anyway stop acting I care.
I thought of this because today Rita and I walked by a dog that was super chill and totally didn’t make a fuss when we walked by, he just did his own thing. More dogs should be like that guy.
Apparently if you want to be a writer you’re supposed to write everyday, and it has come to my attention that I have no excuse for not doing so. As such, I decided I’m going to write a blog post everyday. Will they all be good? Probably. I’m very talented and hilarious so I fully expect to knock all of these out of the park. Not to mention, I have great opinions and ideas and so I imagine that those who are privy to read my thoughts will also benefit immensely. This world could use more Jessica Cabot and I’ve been selfishly denying everyone of my presence for way too long.
I’m very excited about this resolution, particularly because it is now August and not January. Fuck January. August has always been my favorite month. It is also the only month without any significant holidays, and I find this to be no coincidence… no obligations or expectations.
And you know what? Shiit. While I’m at it I might as well tweet everyday too. Remember when I used to do that, guys? Yeah. 2014 starts now. B-)
In this episode, Jessica raises the stakes
my talk show…
Jessica Cabot Presents…
“You Sexy Thing” – a sketch thing she did in her room when her mono symptoms flared up and she couldn’t leave the house for a week in 2011.