In Which I Unleash All Of My Anger And Aggression On The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

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(Just look at these smug asswipes. OH MY GOD YOU’RE DRIVING IN A TUNNEL WITHOUT ADHERING TO SAFETY PRECAUTIONS YOU MUST BE SO FREE AND LIBERATED FROM SOCIETAL CONSTRAINTS YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL.)

I presume no one saw The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I further speculate that no one in their right mind gives half as much of a shit about it as much as I really fucking hate it and can’t stand it.

I read the book in high school because I HEARD IT WAS GOOD and ALSO SURPRISING FACT I WAS SOMETHING OF A WALLFLOWER MYSELF GROWING UP AND SO ONE MIGHT HAVE ASSUMED THAT IT WAS RELATABLE MATERIAL. I didn’t remember anything about the book after I had read it except that a) I actually tortured myself by reading the whole thing and b) I hated it. I remembered hating it because the main character in the book sounded like he has aspergers, a mental affliction which I have callously and shamelessly admitted I can’t stand.

I saw the movie and was quickly reminded, visually this time, about why I fucking hate this crap and I now hold the opinion that Stephen Chbosky must be some sort of self-aggrandizing child porn collector. OH BY THE WAY “CHBOSKY” WHAT ARE YOU TOO COOL CAN YOU NOT AFFORD TO BUY A FUCKING VOWEL GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.

Here is a functional list of things I really fucking hate about this movie/book/abomination against all that is sacred:

1) dear friend? Who the fuck is this “friend”? WHO STILL FUCKING WRITES LETTERS? That’s super creepy psychopath behavior, trust me. In fact, I’m lead to believe that this main character is suffering from a major case of schizophrenic delusion and writing these things to no one because who could he be writing these letters to that would even give a shit about this kid’s mopey sensitive “I don’t fit in life is so oppressive you just don’t understand” diatribe. Guess what jerkoff, no one fit in during high school so WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET HIGH AND PLAY STAR WARS VIDEO GAMES LIKE THE REST OF US??? JESUS.

2) The main gay character is like, so annoying. Kudos to you, sir, for accepting your sexuality in the face of high school discrimination at such a young age. I’m glad those “It Gets Better” videos are doing something for you. BUT OH MY GOD YOU AREN’T LIKE SOME HOLY SAVIOR WHO WAS SENT FROM ABOVE TO TEACH US ALL A LESSON ABOUT LIVING FREELY. This character called his woodshop teacher a fascist! Is that what kids are still calling that? Woodshop? I didn’t have woodshop workshop clockshop, but nonetheless DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT FASCISM MEANS?! Yeah, maybe your teacher is a fucking dick and maybe he gives you bullshit assignments that you hate and aren’t good at but that doesn’t make him a dictator who is trying to oppress your precious sense of individuality, it just makes him some dude who never left his hometown and hates his life because he has to deal with obnoxious narcissistic kids like you on a daily basis.

3) THE REFERENCES! OH GOD THE REFERENCES! Kill me now. OH MY GOD THE SMITHS ARE MY FAVORITE BAND AND I’M 16 AND I AM SPECIAL BECAUSE I AM THE FIRST 16 YEAR OLD TO FIGURE OUT THAT MORRISSEY IS TOTALLY AWESOME. “Oh my god! They’re playing like, actually good music!” they squeal with delight as “Take On Me” plays for the bazillionth time in a high school auditorium. I think the book is supposed to take place in the late 90s but WHATEVER STILL because the 80s weren’t that long ago! Great, you figured out how to recycle old pop music and reclaim it as “cool” because you weren’t even a fetus when it was made, so you could really have no concept of exactly how mainstream all this bullshit you think is so “indie”. YOUR UNIQUE PERSONA CRAFTED FROM WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY JUST GOOD MUSIC THAT EVERYONE WHO LISTENS TO MUSIC HAS HEARD IS HACKNEYED CLICHED BULLSHIT. I am basically just trying to say that kids in high school aren’t special.

3b) like Rocky Horror Picture Show! Stephen Chbosky was like “Hey, I know what high schoolers like, they like feeling original!” “Hm, I’m a weird man in his 30s who isn’t a good writer but who knows how to use cliches and tired coming of age tropes to my advantage! I know! Let me just write a shittier version of Catcher In The Rye and punch it up with fun modern references of originality!” “Google search: What are all the cool unique kids into these days!?” “Google: Uhh… mostly they’re just the same old shitty things like that have sentimental motifs like mix tapes and playing truth or dare. Also yeah, The Smiths, The Smiths speak to them.”

4) Oh, right, the main kid is terrible. In general, I am so tired of young sensitive pussy assholes being portrayed as these tortured romantic souls who are just pining hopelessly after that manic pixie dream girl. OH MY GOD IF ONLY SHE STOPPED DATING ASSHOLES! I am so tortured! Why doesn’t she just like me because I’d love her and NOT treat her like crap UGH I’M JUST SUCH A NICE GUY! I’m 14! OH GOD SHE IS SO DUMB BECAUSE SHE DATES GUYS WHO TREATS HER LIKE SHIT AND DOESN’T NOTICE ME! Yes, this is the plight of women. Women obviously hate themselves because they date the wrong guys and ignore sensitive ones! But maybe these sensitive guys should start checking themselves and their aspergers and grow some fucking balls and stop pining and start doing shit. And maybe she’s dating those asshole guys because they have some sense of confidence, and whatever, confidence is hot. Get some confidence and an Ed Hardy shirt for fucksake and stop wearing that gay-ass suit. No one gives a shit that “all writers wore suits” you look like a fucking jackass. Besides, sensitive brooding dudes always bail as soon as things get too real because they’re all into hating themselves and ruining good things they could have because being ~*tortured*~ is their MO. They ain’t no heros. Therefore — tired of this movie trope. Yeah, I’m looking at you too Zach Braff.

5) I think that’s it. Even if there was more I think that was as much anger as I had in the tank. Fuck this movie up the ass.

6) Afterthought: I think it’s revealed at the very end that the main character was molested by his Aunt. I think that’s just creepy and sort of a weird addendum to this “coming of age” story. “Ugh high school is the worst I am so unpopular and awkward! also I was molested by my Aunt.” HELLO. ISN’T THAT LIKE THE ENTIRE STORY THEN? So if Stephen Chbosky would like any of my constructive criticism on his bestselling book/movie I’d like to offer that there should either be more Aunt molesting or no Aunt molesting, the current amount of Aunt molesting was weird and begged for further questions.

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About jessicacabot

I'm a person and sometimes other things.

4 responses to “In Which I Unleash All Of My Anger And Aggression On The Perks Of Being A Wallflower”

  1. Brj says :

    I found your points quite ignorant and these are my reasons why

    1) it doesn’t matter whether or not people wrote letters at the time. Chobosky used this literary effect give the reader some attachment to Charlie to emphasize how secretive these thoughts are to him. He’s not blatantly talking about his problems and his worries to everyone he stumbles upon, he’s writing a personnel letter only to be seen by this friend who, Inexplicity is suppose to be you which is implies Charlie’s inability to openly reach out to someone (as seen throughout the whole novel). And the melodramaticness that you think he portrays isn’t just because he doesn’t fit in, it’s be cause he was fucking molested by a family member. The fact everyone doesn’t fit in in high school is the whole point to the story. All through out the book Charlie talks about unity and how what he feels is likely what everyone else feels to further explain to the reader that the feelings and sadness he feels is what we feel. Also to say the he should get high and play Star Wars like the rest of us shows how you completely did not understand the concept of this book. The whole purpose was to tell readers to not just suck up all the loneliness and naivety that you feel by doing things everyone else does to cope with the alienation but to participate in life and tell people when your sad or angry or lonely. Whether it be driving under a tunnel or writing letters to someone you don’t know, if it makes you feel free, if it makes you feel united with others then damnit just do it.

    2) first of all, thinking that calling the teacher fascist is over the top, pretentious and overall plain dramatic Is completely correct. But that’s the whole point! Just because you don’t like the character doesn’t mean it’s a bad book, you’re not suppose to like all characters you encounter in a book. Did you ever think that maybe chbosky meant for him to be opinionated and dramatic? Isn’t that the whole point to his down fall in the book? He’s over zealous and at times his thinking is flawed but that’s the character he’s suppose to be. Chbosky made him that way to represent how teenager’s can be impulsive and rebellious which results in their flawed outlook and ultimately in many of their hardships, but they learn from it and become more understanding people. Anyways I think he makes up for it my having a romantic outlook in life that inspires Charlie to reach out to him even though he himself is just as confused and frustrated in life as his friend.

    3) despite all the tackiness of these sentimental things like mix tapes it wasn’t chbosky trying to think of how to make these teenagers original it was chbosky’s ways or portraying how everyone, including teenagers, want and try to be unique and that I can say is entirely true.

    4) damnit chbosky wasn’t trying to make it seem like Charlie was a tortured angst ridden boy in love with a girl that went after men who only hurt her. He was trying to show how we sometimes feel that our loved ones are worth more than what they perceive themselves to be,which inadvertently explains that sometimes we criticize ourselves to be worthless when In fact others see us as very important in their eyes. And for fucks sake he’s sensitive because we’re sensitive. Charlie’s suppose to represent our inner insecurities so therefore why the hell would he be portrayed as some confident guy with an Ed hardy shirt?

    5) this was the comment that pissed me of the most. Why in fucks sake would Charlie, who through out the book emphasizes how he tries to evade things that hurt him and confuse him overtly and thoroughly talk about his aunt molesting him?! The ambiguity to the aunt molesting is the whole damn point. We don’t need to know the whole story to understand that the traumatic event which Charlie obviously doesn’t want to remember (so why would talk about it in depth to someone if he can’t even face the memory himself) is a big part as to why he’s this sensitive, unsure and scared boy.anyways the aunt molesting is not the point of the book, it’s Charlie’s growth into a more sure person after enduring those events that is important and therefore more talked about in the book.

    In all I don’t think you understood the book and I don’t know if you ever will but if you can’t atleast understand why it’s such a phenomenon to do many people, even going as far as to inspire two teenagers to not commit suicide (which I find sad since they resorted to books as their last salvation instead of family and friends) then I suppose your previous statement of being a wallflower, a person who sees and understands, is in my opinion a lie.

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