Unwanted Advice and Wisdom
The following is an account of all the unwanted advice and feedback I have received in the past few months:
10. “You should go into advertising! I know someone who you remind me of and she is in advertising, therefore you’d be perfect for advertising!” – someone who doesn’t know me
9. “I’m just saying this so you know for the future, regardless of what job you end up in, but never ever start an argument at work.” – someone who started an argument with me at work
8. “You would really like acid!” – someone who takes a lot of drugs
7. “Be open to trying something you don’t think you’d like, you may just be surprised! Be flexible, you don’t need to know exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life right now!” – someone who is working at a job they hate
6. “Know exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life, people don’t want to have to babysit you and help you figure out your career! You need clarity!” – someone who obviously didn’t hear that other advice
5. “Enjoy being single and hook up with a lot of dudes! You’re young, you don’t know what you want!” – someone who doesn’t know how many dudes I’ve been with
4. “Hook up with that dude! You’re not getting any younger!” – someone who knows nothing about that dude
3. “Call that dude you hooked up with! If you don’t you’re setting feminism back 50 years!” – someone who is gay
2. “Stop thinking about that guy you hooked up with! If you don’t you’re going to be setting feminism back 50 years!” – someone who talks a lot about people they hook up with
and most to my dismay:
1. “SMILE!” – too many strangers, usually old men, who aren’t actually smiling themselves, and I am always doing something innocuous like standing still in one spot
THINGS I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IN LIGHT OF THIS ADVICE:
1. Managed to make no discernable progress in my career.
2. Set feminism back 50 years.