Comfort Zone

I’m taking some class because I had this delusional idea that learning is a good thing. I am growing to realize that I’m lazy and tired. I would prefer to be brain dead. Tired of learning. Tired of “growing” as a person. Becoming more mature and learning important lessons, be it in a classroom or otherwise, is a lot of work and almost always incorporates some amount of stress.

I would love more than anything right now to just fall asleep in a cozy bed for a few days. Maybe until next Wednesday, because that’s when TV is on again.

In this particular class, however, the goal is to learn how to tell stories. Storytelling, it’s called. The idea appealed to me, because I am a fan of talking about myself. It seemed like a good opportunity to continue to expand upon this interest of mine. However, what I have started to learn, already, is that being an interesting person requires more work than just sleeping in a bed until new TV shows come on. This is unfortunate, because as I mentioned, that’s all I really want to do.

The challenge this week: do something out of your comfort zone and report back on the experience. One example: Some girl who took the class before was really extroverted and friendly and so she made herself go to a bar alone without talking to anyone. What a fucking bitch. Seriously.

Unlike other friendly, confident, cool and collected storytellers, I seem to be more of a scary mouse. If I’m not making cutting remarks at everyone’s expense, then I’m probably catching lightning bugs. Point being, it is obvious that going to a bar and not talking to anyone wouldn’t exactly be outside my comfort zone.

For some reason, I like to be serious about things, and so I really began to take the exercise to heart. Yeah, I should do something outside of my comfort zone! Haven’t I been waiting for such an opportunity all a long? This would be my chance to talk to that guy who works at Starbucks, except that I don’t really care about him anymore. I guess it wasn’t love at first sight. But this would also be my chance to go see a movie alone. Except, what is there to report back from such an experience? “I saw New York, I Love You alone. It reminded me of how I miss New York and feel alone in LA a lot of the time. Then I drove home and took a nap.”

So here were the other ideas I had. The thing is, I really don’t want to do any of them. Aside from feeling slightly to very anxious about most of them, I also still feel really lazy and just want to fall asleep in my bed for a month until it’s Thanksgiving.

  • Get a tattoo
  • Go see Paranormal Activity
  • Wear a ridiculous outfit with loud colors and probably elephants with mohawks. Also fake glasses.
  • Similarly but differently, wear my Halloween costume in public on a day that is not Halloween.
  • Shave off my hair
  • Or just dye it a different color
  • Go to a bar alone… and force myself to talk to people (ugh).
  • Be completely honest with people for a day, preferably on a day when I didn’t have to actually interact with people.
  • Take a spontaneous vacation to somewhere like Las Vegas alone (I won’t do this ever).
  • Exercise
  • Or get liposuction

I would have made this a poll so people could vote upon my fate, but instead I am pretty sure I might just go see New York, I Love You alone and then cry for my faraway friends and take a nap in my weak attempt to become a more interesting person with stories to tell.


5 thoughts on “Comfort Zone

      1. I’m just really popular and out-going and make friends really easily, which I guess is pretty normal, so I’m going to go out to a really nice bar and not talk to ANYONE, HOW WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE IS THAT?? hahaha.

  1. Don’t shave your head and don’t get lipsuction and give the tattoo a lot of thought. Love, Mom.

    If you talk to the guy at Starbucks in LA, I’ll talk to the guy at Starbucks in NY.

    1. you have a starbucks guy in NY?? i gave up on mine because he was elusive. maybe he can be my friend though and recommend new fatty expensive drinks!

      i will not do any of those things. they are too outside my comfort zone!

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