Today I babysat some cool kids, which was the perfect excuse to play hopscotch and catch up on movies I haven’t seen since I became a different person (an adult).

Therefore, here are some movie reviews:

Lady and the Tramp


So it turns out this movie isn’t really about dogs. Or, it “is,” but it is actually a contemporary romantic drama disguised as a children’s film from the 1950s.

Here is the plot, since there is no way you could know it since everyone thinks it is about dogs eating spaghetti, which is misleading:

Lady is a society girl who has things pretty good. In fact, life couldn’t be better. She’s got a cozy set up, and anticipates a life full of quiet bliss. Tramp is a free-spirited rogue who survives the streets by charming, schmoozing, and improvising his way through tough times. However, in embracing his down-and-out lifestyle he is able to “have fun” and “live life,” which are things we learn Lady is afraid to do.

One forced plot point leads to another, and Lady finds herself out on the streets due to some bitchy cats and a huge misunderstanding. Although Lady initially doesn’t like Tramp, he charms her consistently so that she eventually ends up falling for him. (This is why this movie is about people; this could easily describe most of the dating circumstances I myself have been in.)

They eat spaghetti, and one thing leads to another and the two end up waking up side by side the next morning after a musical number about a “bella notte” (they had sex). Lady is swept up in the charisma and easy-going attitude of Tramp and ends up hesitantly agreeing to go do some risky things with him, like chase chickens (this also applies to real human dating situations, except instead of chickens the events involve guns).

Unfortunately, this is the end of Act 2, so something goes terribly wrong. Oops! Lady is in the pound. She doesn’t belong. What happened to the good ol’ society days? How could the Tramp mislead her so? The pound dogs admit she doesn’t belong there, and so sing about the Tramp, who, like his name suggests, sleeps around a lot. A Mexican Chihuahua with an offensive accent, typical mustache, and sombrero sings to Lady that Tramp slept with his sister, Rosita Chiquita Juanita, amongst others.

Lady is completely off put and offended by this info, but not because the sister’s name was highly stereotyped. When she gets out of the pound and Tramp tries to tell her “it’s not my fault!” she turns a deaf ear. This, too, seems scarily reminiscent of human male/female interactions. Blah blah blah; a rat almost eats a baby; Tramp helps Lady save the day; she realizes he’s a good guy after all and that he really does love her; they have small puppies together.

It was a fun movie to watch, but, again, unsettling that this movie about people was drawn to look like a movie about dogs. I don’t want to watch a movie where some of the guys I’ve dated look like a grey terrier mix.

Also, I could say a lot more about the blatant racism disguised, again, by cartoon dogs, but for a Disney movie this point seems too obvious.

Never Been Kissed


I watched this one after the kids fell asleep. I liked it when I was 13, and I still like it now that I’m old. However, the movie has pretty cliched and boring writing. Did you know Jessica Alba and John C. Riley are in it? Bet you didn’t.

This movie’s saving grace is Drew Barrymore. If Drew Barrymore weren’t absolutely adorable and lovely then her awkwardness really would be too painful to embrace. Luckily, this isn’t the case.

Also, I just realized that the teacher is hot. Normally, it might be “creepy” that a teacher is sort of hitting on his student and encouraging her to go to Dartmouth. However, I always really enjoy plot lines of this sort, and plus, the teacher is hot. So it was rewarding at the end when they finally kissed.

I don’t know. There really isn’t a whole lot to say about it, except that Drew Barrymore is amazing and that I was Josie Grossie in high school.

In fact, maybe this movie hit too close to home for me, because I briefly considered the possibility that going back to high school on an undercover newspaper report might not be such a bad idea. Especially if at the end of it you got to make out with a hot teacher. Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?

Last, Drew Barrymore says something smart, and I seriously don’t think you understand how much I love her, “All of you people, there is a big world out there… bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won’t matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.”



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