Top Chef

I am tired these days and devoid of energy; and thus, devoid of sarcasm.

I have spent the past 24 hours, not literally, sitting on the couch and watching re-runs of Top Chef.

Therefore, at this juncture in my life, the only relevant conversation I can make with other human beings is about this TV show.


First, I have a new “celeb” crush. Rick Bayless. Winner of Top Chef Masters, and cooker of delicious Mexican food. He is kind, well-intentioned, intelligent, calm, and, as previously mentioned, he cooks things that look tasty. This is a winning combo in my book.

There is really not much else to say on the topic of Top Chef Masters, or Rick Bayless.

So, unfortunately, I’ve also been watching Top Chef: Season Las Vegas.

This show does not have Rick Bayless in it, and so it is less interesting to watch. However, it does have some girl in it who is kind of hot. However, she looks similar to how dudes look, and so I think this really just confirms that I am still a gay man, and not a lesbian (or bi):


Regrettably, unlike Rick Bayless, this girl Ashley is very opinionated and sort of abrasively so. If you haven’t been watching, in one challenge they were asked to cook for a straight couple about to get married. And in case you haven’t guessed already, Ashley is gay.

Ashley mentions once, “It’s ridiculous how they’re making us do this challenge when the right of marriage is excluded to at least three of us here.”

I can agree with that notion. It is shitty. That’s like saying, “Hey, Jessica, go get coffee for this high powered executive — but you can’t be a high powered executive!” (It’s not like that at all.)

I absolutely, 100%, want gay marriage to be legalized, and I think it is absurd and ridiculous that this sort of discrimination is allowed to go on in our country in this day and age.

On the other hand, I also respect that cooking shows are about cooking. And I understand that when a straight couple gets married, it’s not because they are making some sort of political statement about how gay marriage shouldn’t be legalized.

However, Ashley goes on (and on), “It’s going to be really hard to be gay in this challenge.”

Um, really, sorry? Is it? I don’t know. You’re cooking food for some people in Las Vegas, who happen to be getting married. No one at the party said, “hey, Ashley, I specifically discriminate against you in particular because of your gayness.” It’s just sort of how things are. I mean, I can’t get married either, but I don’t bitch about it every chance I get. (The reasons I can’t get married are different than the reasons Ashley can’t get married.)

I don’t know why I felt opinionated about Ashley’s opinionatedness. I guess I am just somewhat bothered by people who turn everything into a political debate. And I am on board with her opinion, like I said. I want the same things she does.

But how are we going to change things? Top Chef is not the right place for a political forum on gay marriage. Instead, maybe there are other things we can do. Like maybe we can just cook good meals, and prove to those naysayer straight people that we are just as good at cooking watermelon gazpacho as the straight guy across the way, and so therefore we would be just as good at being married. Or we can talk to our senators, and see what we can do about repealing things like Prop 8. We can take action, and in the meantime we can be ourselves and in doing so show that we are deserving of the equal rights we should have in the first place. I say we because even though I’m straight, I am on “the team.” And maybe that’s what bothered me most about what Ashley did in Top Chef. She assumed everyone who wasn’t gay was some kind of enemy, or that they were specifically doing things against her. But that isn’t progress. That’s like reverse discrimination or something. Plus, it was a cooking show. I am tired and cranky, and I watch Top Chef to be lazy and watch people make delicious things. Not to get a lecture on the political incorrectness of bachelor parties in Las Vegas. I want good things too — but I feel like there is a time and a place for political discussions, and not everyone is an enemy.


2 thoughts on “Top Chef

  1. Can you not get married because you are solely attracted to gay men? They should add that to the queer alphabet. I don’t know what it should be called though.

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